Friday, April 18, 2014

Scandal Commentary - Season 3 Finale

I just watched and I'm totally speechless.  I had almost given up on my show, because the last 3-4 weeks have been, well, limp.

I have also stayed off of Facebook for the last 21 hours because I wanted NO spoilers.

This episode totally belonged to Joe Morton.  If this dude does not get an Emmy, we need to boycott. Here are all the ways that it is Eli Pope's world and we are all just living in it.  They are sort of all over the place, but so are my emotions after this episode.

1.  This took me a minute, but do y'all realize that he made Maya stab him? Enough to draw lots of blood, but not enough to injure any organs. That's what she meant in response to Liv's query as to whether their life was 'real'.  "I didn't kill him, and we all know I could have." ( I totally loved Khandi Alexander's delivery of that one sentence.)  She told Eli to bring her baby home and by getting shanked, she came right to his side.

OOOOOOHHHH - and Maya was in the hole at the end, so now she's going to be B613!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2.  He probably allowed Maya to get loose to reign Liv back in.  Think back over the whole season.  She was locked up for 22 years and that's the first time she thought of going coyote and knawing her arm off?  I don't think so.

3.  Even with a knife wound, he hobbled past SS (and we know the deal on that now, don't we), and got up in Prez's face.  GANGSTA!

4.  But Tom though!  A poisoned ring!  So very...Borgia.....

But what about the lines???  These absolutely rocked my world!

5.  To be young, gifted and Black.

6.  Daddy took care of it.

7.  You think you can take me because I'm old and injured, but you CANNOT take me.  You CANNOT take Command!

Now, for the rest of it...

8. Judging by that boatload of boxes, B613 did have a paper trail.  Sloppy....

9.  That was some super quick packing that Liv did.

10.  How are Huck and Quinn so insatiable that they have to do it in the office?  That's not comfortable AT ALL.

11.  Mellie wants a refund. Liv should have been like Whitney Houston -- "Where is your receipt?"  Mellie, this ain't Best Buy.  Declare it a loss on your 1040 and keep rolling.

12.  But did they have to kill the baby, though?  Shonda went hardcore!

13.  Since the "7:52" episode, I knew Huck's family was coming back. Query though, she went back to school and went from librarian to lawyer so that means she has a house like that.  Also, why couldn't she just have become the Librarian of Congress and come up on her other profession? (Admittedly, this is personal).

14.  Since we know that we'll see them next season, wouldn't it be totally awesome if Javi is a mini Huck in training?

15.  Guillermo Diaz also deserves an Emmy nod for that scene with Liv in her apartment.

16.  Why Jake won't leave Liv be?  She's probably like, "Damn, if I take you with me will you quit being so thirsty?"  At least cold nights won't be lonely...  And the subtle expression change on her face after she declined the call from the White House is the kind of thing that makes me believe in Kerry Washington's acting abilities again.

17. With Columbus Short's personal issues, I think we can put him on the Bye Felicia list.   But, keeping it 100, mental illness is real, and I hope he can get the help that he needs.

18.  'Cause Harrison, nobody mouths off at Command and lives to tell the tale.  'Cept Liv.

19.  Are we rid of Sally?  I surely hope so.  Leo too, for that matter.

20.  Are we all going to be in front of the TV in October when this show comes on again??  After this episode, I am back in.  Shonda went straight HAM!  I am glad.

Things to ruminate on over summer hiatus:

Mellie and Fitz's new relationship.

Where did Liv go and how is she going to re-enter the picture?

What is Eli going to do next?  I hope join forces with Maya. B613 is gonna be a bad mutha....

How is Cyrus going to get his soul back from the devil?  And will we get to see that cute little girl again?

What's going to happen to Quinn now that she's jobless and manless?

How is Huck's new/old family going to fit into the picture?

Is Abby still going to be a hater?

Please let me know what y'all think by posting in comments or on my Facebook page.

Peace out!!!

Sunday, April 13, 2014

Scandal Commentary: Episode 317: Flesh and Blood

Okay Gladiators,

This week's commentary can be divided into three major categories.  The Sitters, the Ballers and The Felicia List.

The Sitters.  These people need to have one to several, and I do mean, sev-er-al seats.

1. Olivia - for your righteous indignation, hypocrisy and general annoying facial expressions and multitude of A-line coats and window shots.  How you gon' keep running your mouth when you know you made a major mistake in taking down B613? You thought nothing was gonna happen and they were gonna give you a medal? Jake hemmed you up and you still kept yelling! Shut up!!!  And get your mind right when you talk to Mellie. YOU ARE SLEEPING WITH HER HUSBAND.  You need to be meek as a lamb when you talk to her and not all up in her face.  She is going to growl at you soon, and that ish will not be pretty.   And how you gon' act shocked when your daddy killed that man in your office?  You have gone way past regular folks' office decorum in that space.  People have bumped uglies, gotten drugged and all other types of shenanigans up and through there.  You better hope your landlord doesn't charge for cleanup.

2.  Huck and Quinn.  (Most uncomfortable scene of the whole series). I knew this was bound to happen, but in a parking garage???? When y'all supposed to be eyes akimbo looking for Maya Pope? But now that Huck and Quinn have knocked boots (and I mean this literally), y'all all know that Charlie is going to have to die.

3.  Fitz - how you gon' be mad because Liv and Jake slept together?  And when somebody tells you to stay in the White House, stay in the White House!!

4.  Jake - you just HAD to let folks know that you had Biblical knowledge of Liv.  Whatevs.  And you are STILL letting her pimp you.  You need to get written up for being the WACKEST Command ever.

Now, on to the Ballers.  These people ain't got to apologize for NATHAN!!!

1. Mellie - my girl said to hell with all y'all.  I'm gettin' drunk, long hair don't care!  Y'all took my boo and my dignity.  IT'S HER TURN!!!!!!

2.  Little Jerry's girlfriend - they need to look into recruiting her for B613 b/c that chickadee takes NO prisoners.

3.  Cyrus - seems as though he's shaken back from the grief and is BACK!!!!  Sally, you thank me for getting you out of a murder charge by running against my president?  Okay.  Go on to the church...

4.  Quinn - although she kinda did need to have a seat, she straight up owned Huck!

5.  Daddy Pope - they played James Brown's "Superbad" as he walked into OPA and he is indeed, Superbad.  You took my boo, and so now I have to kill you.  Olivia, it's me or Jake..... If they made a show just about him and Maya Pope, I would stop watching Scandal and start watching it POSTHASTE!

6.  Maya Pope - she does all that devilment and don't even unbutton her coat.  Go girl!

The Felicia List.  Some of these people are literally gone or about to be gone, or they are wrong for some of their actions.

1.  Charlie - you knew from the start that Huck was Quinn's Batman.  Nice knowing you, but you gon' die.

2.  Dominic - you were about that life for a long time, but you underestimated Maya's coldness or her love for her daughter.

3.  Maya Pope - we need your backstory, because you are cold as ICE.

4.  Fitz - quit brooding like a little boy and man up ?  I don't even want to vote for you for President.

5.  Jake - do you think Eli ever chased some chick that continually pimps him and sells him out?  No, that's why you keep getting played by Liv.  SHE'S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU!

6.  Sally - we are all a little tired of you.

7.  Andrew - you shouldn't have shunned Mellie.  Bye-bye.

8.  Leo - I hope you got ole girl into Harvard, cause you about to be gone pecan.

The season finale is this Thursday.  We will see how this wraps itself up...

Sunday, April 6, 2014

Scandal Update Episode 316 "The Fluffer"

Let me just say first off that Shonda needs to send Liv to an island for an episode or two to rewrite her character. She is getting on ALL OF OUR NERVES at this point. The ways in which she gets on my nerves are countless.

Here we go:

 1. How has Liv worked with Cyrus so long, but neither he nor Fitz knows any of her staff? Abby/Gabby was, as we say in the hood, face-cracked and on the ground.

2. Was anyone else creeped out by the fact that G/Abby went to Olivia's house, shoplifted one of her coats and then got say her lines right back to her? Liv is worried about B613, but she needs to watching the chick with the PhD (Player Haters Degree for non-Biggie fans) right under her nose . Jake from State Farm better hope he doesn't end up with a spike heel in his head. #singlewhitefemale 

3. And speaking of Jake, I cannot get over how thirsty he is for Liv! I mean, he's supposed to be B613. He really keeps the Batphone on his nightstand? And then begging like Keith Sweat to let him in her apartment. Somehow, I don't see Eli/Rowan EVER begging a woman. He literally would never EVEN.

4. Poor Mellie. But did you see/hear/feel that ghetto slap she gave Fitz??? She literally slapped the Black off him. When Mellie gets her growl on, errrybody better run, hide, DIE!!

5. Speaking of Fitz, how on earth is he going to be salty that Mellie is getting hers? Didn't we find out that she went 10 years in the desert? So, he can build a whole house in Vermont, make out in front of windows and basically do whatever with his jump-off, but Mellie is supposed to keep it mellow? Whatever man. The Tie incident was too much. He really didn't need to be that mean.

 5a. SN- Jumpoffs everywhere were yelling - Girl, get the house!!!!!

6. Speaking of the tie incident, who still wears Escada? Mellie, we need to get you a stylist quickly. Call Michelle Obama's stylist ASAP!

7. Liv's righteous indignation at Andrew made me want to jump through the TV and choke her. OH, BUT JAKE FROM STATEFARM IS GONNA DO THAT IN A MINUTE.

8. More questions for Liv - What is the point of taking down B613? What then? Why? She really thinks that there will be no consequences? Her mama already told her to step off, shake back and get some other business. Also, she still mad because her boyfriend yelled at her? Girl, pick up your thong, square your shoulders and soldier on. You are a Black woman. Get your strong back!!!

9. How shady is it that she slept with Jake from State Farm to get the phone deal done? Was it really that serious?

10. Also, are we supposed to just forget that Harrison was drugged and intel was stolen from the office the week before? We gonna just gloss all over that? We didn't even get another shirtless scene in the hospital with him in bed?  No?  Just suited and booted like normal?  Damn.

11. Huck gave Liv exactly the looks of disgust we all wanted to.

12. But back to Andrew. He went from "I Will Always Love You" to "Money, Power, Respect." I sensed an inner weakness in him. Poor Mellie. Her taste in men is worse than almost as bad as mine. 

13. I do not appreciate a man putting his hands on a woman. I will chalk it up to the drama of the moment. Liv, you done did it now. You could almost hear the needle going off the record.

14. How 'bout the chemistry between Daddy and Mama Pope. I would LOVE to see more scenes between the two of them. "I wish you would." "I'm a vengeful man." WOW!

15. Overall, this episode was pretty uneven. I did the best I could with what I had...

Saturday, March 29, 2014

By popular demand, I have moved this recap to my blog. Okay, my thoughts on Thursday night's Scandal: 1. Olivia is really beginning to get on my nerves. Sixteen minutes in, she had already been extra and brand new about 7 times. Shonda needs to do some retooling of her character, because she's not even the reason I watch the show any more. 2. Do they really think B613 is going to show up as a line item on a budget ANYWHERE? C'mon man. Wasting all that paper and we are in a recession.. Holiday party, check, toner cartridges, check, assassins for the country, check. NAAAWWWW!!!!! 3. Run. Hide. Die. Daaaannnngggg! 4. So, Quinn has 2 crazy assassins jocking, huh? She lickin' faces, makin' dreams come true, leaving Huck all bent over and wanting. Even made dude break his lease. Girrrlllll........ 5. Last week: "Uh-uh Dimitri." This week: " Rockabye Baby Dimitri." 6. I'm pretty sure I'm sick of Olitz kissing and making out in front of the Oval Office windows. 7. So, nobody thought to at least vet 2 teenagers we've never seen because they live away from their parents and are in boarding school? Nobody checked their phones, looked at their Facebook pages or anything? Where are the Secret Service agents assigned to them? Tom needs to get up there and straighten it all out. 8. "Glass houses, Olivia." Wow. Face-cracked, Liv. You just got OWNED! 9. Daddy Pope is mesmerizing every time he comes on the screen. 10. For all her faults, Mellie does seem to be a caring mom. 11. Mama Pope! She even has Adnan scurried. 12. Jerry might be a sociopath. 13. Why don't these people ever sneak off to Camp David to get it on? All this woo-pitching in the White House is a bit much! Always getting caught with skirts up and pants down. Stop it! 14. Side note, when you watch it on a tablet, it says it will be shown with limited commercial interruptions. Yet every 6 minutes, the same 5 ads come on. Quit playing, ABC. 15. "You were on your knees with Uncle Andrew." That line alone is going to ensure years of talk therapy and meds. 16. "I am the Commander In Chief." I am Command. I am not your Bish!" Fitz, have sev-er-al seats, please sir. 17. How is Cyrus going to be all bum rushy? He ordered Jake to kill James. Cyrus, have a seat next to Fitz, please. But I will say that Jeff Perry won his Emmy with one word of dialogue in that scene. 18. And why do they have these heartfelt, Iago/Hamlet conversations in the Oval Office - WHICH IS SURVEILLED!!! 19. These people ain't tired of getting read up, down and sideways by Daddy Pope? First, YOU ARE A BOY. Now, YOU ARE ALONE! Come and kill me by yourself if you want to. Hmmph. Leave him alone and let him do his fake job. 20. And Jake, when you show up to kill him all alone, you might be surprised. You saddown too. 21. What do we pay you for?- Liv, you are the help. Why you acting all shocked now? 22. If I were Liv, my ardor for Fitz would have cooled after dealing with his crazy kids. Oh no, boo, ain't nobody got time for this. 22. Fitz got up out of his seat and let Olivia know she needed to have several seats as well. Scootch over Jake, make room on that sofa for your girl. 23. Fitz is gonna be real shame when he finds out why Mellie shut him down. But 10 years? And nobody thought about therapy? 24. This is why you never put your heart in a married man's hands. When it gets right down to it, you come waayy behind their wife and kids, even if that situation is not perfect. Liv, go pop some corn and a couple of corks. You got some thinking to do. 25. Kim Reliford Wannamaker - we both know that Adnan is going to have to die for that stunt she pulled with our boo. 26. Mothers are the same whether they are Georgia Ann Ashley Hicks or Maya Pope. Haven't we all heard, "Well, if that's the way you want to do that, I can't get in your way, you are a grown woman/man"? Passive-aggresiveness is a great guilting tool.

Thursday, March 6, 2014

Prince on Arsenio Hall, though...

1. First, giving honor to God and to my line sis Donna Frazier, who hipped me to this fabulous hour of television. Carlos Prudhomme gets a shout as well for the text. 2. If Whoopi is the Queen of No Dambs Left To Give (note her EGOT and her crazy outfit from the Oscars), then Prince is definitely the King. He came out with a frizzy ‘fro, yellow, then white spandex catsuit, furry vest and KILLED IT!! 3. Inspiring quote #1: When talking about putting together his new music, he mentioned that “Since I’m no longer under contract, it just takes a little longer to put out quality music…I’m from the old school… in a singles-driven market, I prefer to make albums.” Takeaways – artists need to start learning how to handle their business in this show business game and own their stuff like Prince does. And stick to what works for you. Don’t chase trends. How many of us will still be talking about Chris Brown or Justin Bieber in 30 years. 4. Which brings me to this: Is “Purple Rain” actually 30 years old this year? DAAAAAAANNNNNNGGGGG! 5. Inspiring quote #2: When asked by Arsenio what he would be doing if he wasn't, well, PRINCE, he responded that when he was 19 years old and really broke that he looked in the phone book to see what kind of work he could get…and found nothing that he wanted to do. This made him determined to push harder and make his music work. That is just, badass. Work your dreams, people. 6. Which brings me to this: Arsenio was as giddy as a schoolgirl. But I can’t hate. I would have been disgusting too. 7. He went back to the old school with playing the B-sides. “She’s Always In My Hair.” If he would have busted out with “Horny Toad” I would have fallen slap out. 8. However, those people with the wack questions needed to have several seats. What is your favorite chore? Man, prince does not have dishpan hands. Ask him about his music, his hopes and dreams, when is he making another movie, when is he going back on tour. Really, does he watch infomercials? You get your chance to bow at the feet of a musical genius and THAT’S all you got? 9. There’s truly no way to top that. Arsenio can retire now. He got Prince for a whole hour. He can drop the mic and exit stage left. 10. There will never ever in a million years be another Prince. This is why I can’t listen to mainstream radio. Nobody can do what he does. He is an ARTIST. Not just an entertainer, not just a singer, not just a musician. This is what I love about music. Prince made me love music, and for that, I will always be a loyal fan. 11. I love how he always gives great new artists a chance. I’m a new Liv Warfield fan. 12. I am sticking to my policy of always BUYING (not downloading from Freegal or dubbing from the library) any Prince album unheard. And that says a lot, because I own “Come.” Yeah. What did you guys see that inspired you last night?