Sunday, April 6, 2014

Scandal Update Episode 316 "The Fluffer"

Let me just say first off that Shonda needs to send Liv to an island for an episode or two to rewrite her character. She is getting on ALL OF OUR NERVES at this point. The ways in which she gets on my nerves are countless.

Here we go:

 1. How has Liv worked with Cyrus so long, but neither he nor Fitz knows any of her staff? Abby/Gabby was, as we say in the hood, face-cracked and on the ground.

2. Was anyone else creeped out by the fact that G/Abby went to Olivia's house, shoplifted one of her coats and then got say her lines right back to her? Liv is worried about B613, but she needs to watching the chick with the PhD (Player Haters Degree for non-Biggie fans) right under her nose . Jake from State Farm better hope he doesn't end up with a spike heel in his head. #singlewhitefemale 

3. And speaking of Jake, I cannot get over how thirsty he is for Liv! I mean, he's supposed to be B613. He really keeps the Batphone on his nightstand? And then begging like Keith Sweat to let him in her apartment. Somehow, I don't see Eli/Rowan EVER begging a woman. He literally would never EVEN.

4. Poor Mellie. But did you see/hear/feel that ghetto slap she gave Fitz??? She literally slapped the Black off him. When Mellie gets her growl on, errrybody better run, hide, DIE!!

5. Speaking of Fitz, how on earth is he going to be salty that Mellie is getting hers? Didn't we find out that she went 10 years in the desert? So, he can build a whole house in Vermont, make out in front of windows and basically do whatever with his jump-off, but Mellie is supposed to keep it mellow? Whatever man. The Tie incident was too much. He really didn't need to be that mean.

 5a. SN- Jumpoffs everywhere were yelling - Girl, get the house!!!!!

6. Speaking of the tie incident, who still wears Escada? Mellie, we need to get you a stylist quickly. Call Michelle Obama's stylist ASAP!

7. Liv's righteous indignation at Andrew made me want to jump through the TV and choke her. OH, BUT JAKE FROM STATEFARM IS GONNA DO THAT IN A MINUTE.

8. More questions for Liv - What is the point of taking down B613? What then? Why? She really thinks that there will be no consequences? Her mama already told her to step off, shake back and get some other business. Also, she still mad because her boyfriend yelled at her? Girl, pick up your thong, square your shoulders and soldier on. You are a Black woman. Get your strong back!!!

9. How shady is it that she slept with Jake from State Farm to get the phone deal done? Was it really that serious?

10. Also, are we supposed to just forget that Harrison was drugged and intel was stolen from the office the week before? We gonna just gloss all over that? We didn't even get another shirtless scene in the hospital with him in bed?  No?  Just suited and booted like normal?  Damn.

11. Huck gave Liv exactly the looks of disgust we all wanted to.

12. But back to Andrew. He went from "I Will Always Love You" to "Money, Power, Respect." I sensed an inner weakness in him. Poor Mellie. Her taste in men is worse than almost as bad as mine. 

13. I do not appreciate a man putting his hands on a woman. I will chalk it up to the drama of the moment. Liv, you done did it now. You could almost hear the needle going off the record.

14. How 'bout the chemistry between Daddy and Mama Pope. I would LOVE to see more scenes between the two of them. "I wish you would." "I'm a vengeful man." WOW!

15. Overall, this episode was pretty uneven. I did the best I could with what I had...

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